more laugh break
"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."
Anonymous.
 
"Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent."
Anonymous.
 
"Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one."
Anonymous.
 
"Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning." 
Anonymous.
 
"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed."
Albert Einstein
 
 
"The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations."
David Friedman.
 
 
"A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah."
Ronald Reagan
 
 
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." 
Dean Martin
 
"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."
Zsa Zsa Gabor
 
 
"An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be"
Anonymous.
 
"When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always." 
Rita Rudner.
 
 
Guys: No Shirt, No Service  
Gals: No Shirt, No Charge 
 
 
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. 
 
 
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
 
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman 
 
 
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
  
 
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
 
 
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. 
 
 
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
 
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman 
 
 
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
 
 
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
 
 
You laugh because I'm different...........I laugh cause I just farted! 
 
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. 
 
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! 
 
 
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. 
 
 
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson 
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